


Purple or Yellow

by americanphancakes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Labels, Nail Polish, Sexuality Crisis, interactive introverts tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 15:47:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15027923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanphancakes/pseuds/americanphancakes
Summary: Dan wants to paint his nails for pride month. On one hand, the rainbow flag is represented. But on the other hand...Written for the Pride 2018 flash Phandom fic fest.





	Purple or Yellow

**Author's Note:**

> I want to preface this by saying that this is a pretty personal fic, touching on something that personally frustrates and upsets me a great deal. I SINCERELY hope I don't alienate anyone with it as that is not my intention at all. (Quite the contrary.)
> 
> I am by no means assuming that this is something Dan genuinely goes through regarding the label for his sexuality, but I will say that it wouldn't surprise me if he did.
> 
> [Share this story on tumblr](https://americanphancakes.tumblr.com/post/175190453773/new-one-shot-purple-or-yellow)

The nails on Dan’s left hand had been painted red, orange, yellow, green, and blue for Pride Month by a very nervous Phil. He’d been more careful this time than the messy yellow polish from last October, mostly so Dan wouldn’t make fun of him on a live stream this time.

The rainbow reminded Dan that he belonged, and he hoped it would do the same for other members of the community in the audience. He hoped the rainbow would make it clear that everyone there, regardless of sexuality or identity or label or lack of a label, were his friends and allies and would never be turned away for who they were.

After Phil finished, Dan was painting the nails on his right hand himself. For this hand, he wanted to do something different. His pinky and ring fingers were painted pink, while his thumb and forefinger sported a bright sky blue. His middle finger… he hadn’t decided yet. He looked at the unpainted nail, and then at the color choices on the hotel room desk in front of him. His eyes went back and forth between the bottle of purple nail polish and the bottle of yellow next to it.

Purple or yellow?

He leaned back, a bit frustrated, thinking. This had seemed like such a good idea earlier today -- for the first shows in America, as Pride Month wound down, he’d subtly show his support for those with the same sexuality as him. But now he had to choose which flag he was painting on his nails.

His sexuality, in a purely functional sense, was no secret to anyone who’d ever paid him any attention. Put simply, he could give a shit what was between a person’s legs. As far as he was concerned, beauty was beauty, and love was love. But the label, which was never that important to him, _was_ important to so many people in his audience. And he truly wanted them to feel like they weren’t alone, and that he had their back. So which label fit him? Which label was accurate? The more he read about the definitions of the two terms, including some heated debates on Twitter and Tumblr, the less secure he felt applying either label to himself.

He leaned forward and started to reach for the purple. He’d been leaning in that direction for awhile, after all. But what if he alienated trans and non-binary people in doing so? It wasn’t his intent -- the purple in the flag’s design had always been meant to signify non-binary people, after all -- but the fact was, too many people read the “bi” to mean “two genders.” So he started to reach for the yellow instead. But if he did so, would that be an implicit condemnation of people who chose the other label? Would people think his opinion was that “bi” meant “two genders” too?

He clenched his fist and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment of meditative silence. He reluctantly gave up and reached for the nail polish remover. He scrubbed off the pink and the blue with a defeated sigh and frustrated tears threatening to push their way out.

The rainbow on his left hand made him feel like he belonged.

His right hand? His right hand would be painted matte black. 

Nothing else fit the way he was feeling right then.

**Author's Note:**

> If this fic means anything to you personally, please do leave a comment. I think this conversation is one that needs to be had more civilly than I usually see.
> 
> I'm on tumblr as @americanphancakes, come say hi!
> 
> [Share this story on tumblr](https://americanphancakes.tumblr.com/post/175190453773/new-one-shot-purple-or-yellow)


End file.
